december 2021
december 8th, 9:31 AM

something kind of awful happened last night. it feels like it was all my fault. I put myself in these positions. I only know what happened what truly wrong because of I may destroy you. it's my three year anniversary with wednesday today.

december 1st, 10:00 AM

currently procrastinating and wasting time in my intro to film class by coding a new journal page--but it's the last one of this year! and it's my first repeat month, as we near the first year anniversary of this website. I know I haven't touched it for half of this year, but hey, that means I spent the other half of the year actually working on it. I'm pretty happy with the basic knowledge of html neocities has granted me. it's a bit convulted, but basic site building is a lot easier than it first seemed. I love to flex my html/css knowledge like I'm a student in STEM, though. I feel so smart typing on the html document out in public like yeah, I'm coding, I'm hacking some important stuff, but it's just me essentially doodling in my digital diary.

it's finals season. . .currently stressed out. didn't think it'd catch up to me, but it did. this class's final in particular, my short film, is stressing me out. what if it's awful and terrible and I'm not even cut out to make stupid, shitty student films? I'm so tired. I hope the shoot this weekend goes well. my forum final is also fucking killing me. I hate that class and I hate the professor and the students, and guess what! it's not just one semester!! I get to take it for the whole year!!! I'm so excited, can't you tell?

I saw T after not seeing them for a bit. it was nice. I'm starting to wonder if I should stop mentioning them to anyone anymore, though. I don't think either of my girlfriends like them. I don't really care for them as a friend, but we're good at getting what we want from each other. I think sometimes my hook-up habit bothers people more than they let on, under the guise of letting me do what I want because I'm my own person and an adult. I wish it wasn't that way; maybe it's all in my head.